As your fearless ringleader, I shall tell the tale of our triumphant first show!
Hmmm.. lets see, how did it all happen? Well, lets start with the important facts. One, I have an order for some decent ale placed with the bartender at the tavern. It should be of higher quality then the regular swill- which is fine for an elf, but not really suitable for the refined tastes of humans, gnomes, dwarves, orcs, or goblins, dogs and rats.
Two, we found an ancient gnomish King’s sarcophagus! It proves, Im pretty sure, that I own part or all of castle Ravenloft. I took a charcoal rubbing of the stonework on the sarcophagus, then redrew it to be more realistic on a separate parchment. My drawing looks like it could be my great grandgnome! So, as soon as I figure out who to present these compelling legal documents to, I shall claim the castle and rename it castle Igorloft.
Whats that Diggles? My rat is reminding me that I skipped the exciting parts. So lets go back to the beginning…
We were exploring down some passages, deep under castle Igorloft, when I smelled some gold. The odor was faint, but unmistakable. I boldly led the party into a darkened chamber, challenging any nasty dragons that might be lurking about with my fierce gnome battle cry. But the room looked empty, if memory serves, so I started looking for that shiny gold that I smelled earlier.
Once again, our crazy mage Tabarast thought it would be funny to use his necromancy to summon up a bunch of undead all around us. I need to remember to ask him why he keeps doing that. Anyway, I decided to make a strategic withdrawal and wait to deliver the crucial blow from my hidden vantage point.
While I was busy calculating the optimal grappling hook angle to use, our mighty dwarf charged into battle, supported by our fearless druid and her pet. Tabarast decided to play fireball catch with one of the undead he summoned, nearly singing Diggles’ whiskers!
I could see it was going horribly, so I made my move. I swung across the chamber on my circus grappling hook , launching boot first into the skull of the Vampire Emperor! He fell back, shaking one fist while screaming, “You have defeated me for now, Igor Nappovich, but I shall return!” Or something like that, I cant recall. I think someone accidentally hit me, because I vanished from sight and decided to start collecting those shiny things I smelled earlier. After all, I had already saved the party, again.
Afterwards we journeyed on and found that sarcophagus that I was talking about earlier! Lots of talking happened, and at the end of it all everyone decided that the coffin was for an ancient gnomish King, probably descended from the Nappoviches of Deglos originally, back generations ago. King Thelios Nappovich, I think was his name. I have already sewn a patch with the Igorloft Crest on it, inspired by the design on the charcoal rubbing. Perhaps I will sew it onto Tabarast’s backpack next time he falls asleep drunk in his chair.
Oh, and … the ghost appeared again, and said that it is good luck to buy a gnome an ale. Spooky, how ghosts know all sorts of interesting and TRUE facts, isnt it?
Diggles, quiet! Ok, yes, then Tabarast had his ventriloquist show! We were returning to the bar, when we came across two giants in the forest arguing. I snuck up to see what was going on, and the rest of the party followed at a safe distance. I started in with a bit I learned back in pre-school, using ventriloquism to start acting out a scene within a cave beside the giants. Tabarast jumped right in, provided character voices of his own and improvising the storyline! Our audience loved it! If I recall, they applauded so loudly that the cave collapsed on their heads. Thats a real shame, they could have provided some good word of mouth advertising for Igor’s Travelling Troubadors!
After that, we made it back to the bar, which is where I started this tale. And I am not going back to Castle Igorloft until I get some better hooch! Barkeep!
— Igor Nappovich’s Account of the Adventure